You criticize what you do not know
You belittle those who aren't like you
You insult, you lie, and you manipulate
to make yourself seem superior
Have you not realized that you're putting yourself down
the same way you do to others?
Snide remarks and crude comments
They come from inside you
From inside that "perfection" you try to push forward
and force into everyone's face
Remarks and insults coming from you
simply reveal what you truly are


Insecure


You let your insecurity control you
You allow it to take your sense and maturity hostage
Those people out there didn't do this to you
They never insulted you,
never belittled you,
never treated you as demeaningly as you treat them
They're the innocents being affected
by your inner battle with yourself.
You insult because you're afraid.
The qualities you despise in yourself
shadow your eyesand become the qualities of
someone else -an innocent.
You may think it's fun to laugh at that poor bystander.
You may think it'll make you God,
but, in the end, you'll realize
that you were doing battle with yourself the whole time.
After all, you are your own worst critic.



The day started with a embarrasing and obvious zit above his lips. He poked gently at it, considering the irritation. It wasn't that obvious when you look at it at a distance, he consoled himself.. after all, it was the self confidence you carry that really matters. He would not let a pimple down his confidence. In fact, he begun to believe that that pimple made him look rather cute. He smiled at his reflection and left the house. The sermon was long and he felt both hungry and uncomfortable. He touched his pimple absent-mindedly again. The pastor had been emphasizing the same point for the last half an hour and he was getting seriously bored. He thought of music practice later on, learning the parts for the new song, and with joel on the team as well. All of a sudden , the image complete with the smell of chicken wings and bee hoon floated hungrily up. He felt his stomach growl angrily and all at once, his saliva glands worked up furiously. He swallowed, fingering his pimple again. Argh, i cant be this distrated all the time! Im supposed to be listening and captivated by the word of God! The nagging issue of his relationship with God surfaced again. he had always known, at the back of his mind, that he had never really given his life to God. Refusing to conform and becoming a Guru that fast. But he also knew that it was actually not all that bad. That blessings would come and he would be happy. At least, he can be sure that Heaven would definitely be his destination. But he always wonders, and partly knew that he might be damned, like the rest of the world. He knew all these, but he does not do them. For i do what i do not wish, and for what i wish, i do not do. He tucked this into the back of his head once again, choosing to ignore, and procrastinate. I'll be nice one day..give it all up one day..one day, one day.. though deep down, he knew that one day might never come. The guy yawned and looked at her. He wondered for the thousandth time if any thing interesting could happen between them, and if there really was as he thought, chemistry between them. Reaching into the well of his own wisdom, he decided not to dwell on it. Instead, he begun to wonder where and who to hang out with after service...


Scene 1:
"Oh come on.. not town! Not with this enormous pimple on my nose man..no way!"


Scene 2:
'Well, here we are, man Vivo City!" He groaned. His friend smiled triumphantly. Oh well, since we're here, might as well have some fun at Toy's R' Us! Whos with me! Grunts of agreement rose and they set off, a funny little group of people, for Toy's R Us. As expected from a bunch of childish people, they had heaps of fun, especially with a particular 'farting' racoon, which was super cute, and made a funny squirting sound when you squeezed its tummy. And they laughed when he got stuck on a rocking horse meant for kids, and not for a big kid like himself. The rest of the day was spent sitting down outside Carl's Jr, craping and laughing, talking and asking questions about everything under the 'Swinging man'. Night descended quickly, and it was time to go home. In the end, they went home by TRAIN, with furs on thier clothes and hair and scratches to beautify thier plain skin.


And since this post is getting too long and i have only just started, i'll best end here. =) If you have stayed with me so far, thank you!