2 am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You cant make up your mind
Bla bla ba...


Its 2.48am, but the rain is not falling.
Im not at any crossroads though.. Im at home, all alone. So there's no 'we' here, to stand at crossroads.
As a matter of fact, there just happens to be someone telling me that shes so confused and cant make up her mind right now.
Ok thats lame.


Now for real posting..Im hungry now.. but i don wanna go down for supper. So im watching Happ tree friends to try n erase my hunger haha. Went to slack today, it was pretty unintersting for me.. just a matter of looking at the sky. I cant believe i missed the shooting star. Jac's ultra lucky man. Then we did something pretty childish. A typical message in a bottle thingy. Then we threw it back to the sea. Haiz i just wish there would be heart.sports today. Vesak day is lame. I want to play super cap in the sun. It seems to be able to melt all my troubles for a little while. Maybe i can go out later, and probably have good enough fun to keep my thoughts at bay. I do hate this trying to put off my feelings thingy. Pretty sick of it actually. But no choice i guess. Im beginning to feel like a super useless thing beyond hope now. Anyway, happy Vesak i suppose.

I think its gonna rain soon... funny how it can get so chilly and wet at night, but still wake up in the baking heat as though it havn't rained for a long time. I've just finished a couple of movies. Harry potter, and Big Stan. I think Hermione is so chio..... and is it me or do all the Dark Lords look similar? Consider Prince Arthas, and especially Orochimaru and Voldermort. Interesting huh. Anyway, this kinda weather is best for sleeping! Hope i don't dream of Voldermort though...hee

Indescribable. The nearest word that might be able to begin to form this feeling would be 'émo-ing' And that is but a very brief description. Was it fear that caused this suden onslaught of dread and horror that makes one tremble in the face of life? Or is it just loniliness making one dread the part of waking every day, the cruel realisation that his dreams was but a dream? Or is it possible for a so called Christ believer to experience hopelessness? And what of friends? One could try very hard to be a good friend but what of the possibility of betraying your friends concious or not, regretted or not? And with a bleak future staring in the face will one dare to love? One might, i suppose, be able to ignore all these dull and dreadful things, shrugging it off his shoulders when he is standing upon the top of his world. A mixture of these however, is many times more horrifying when he is instead, in his lowest point, trying to walk out of his solitude, his valley.
As bad as my emotions can go, i am also concious of the presence of a Almighty God who cares. Despite my innumerable and doubtless intentional sins, i am aware of his Grace. However, i fear that my stiff neck will eventually land me in hell. For as many times i become repentful, i will sin even more very soon. I am very sad and worn out. I do not believe in tears. As one grows up, he realises that life is not as blissful as he hoped, that second chances are much harder to find than he would have liked. Is the word 'regret' still applicable?